Can’t sleep

7 09 2010

I don’t really know what woke me up, but now I can’t sleep & I’m kind of hungry…

I’m starting a new job next week & I’m scared about it… I’ve wanted it for a long long time. I’ve really worked my ass off for it. I think I’ll be great at it, really great. But I like the job I’m leaving… I like it a lot. And I think people are looking at me like a sell out or something. Female tech is pretty powerful… But realistically, how far could I get with that? I’m NOT a technical person. I’ve made it this far on hard work & a natural ability to learn how to do things through repetition… I have no natural affinity for technical work… I mean, come on! How fucking hard is it for me to figure out the remote controls for the TV?? I am the most untechnical tech ever! I just happen to learn fast!

But I love my team & my team lead… Am I going to get that support elsewhere? Are the 3rd shifters going to like me? Do they secretly think I’m a shitty tech & hate me?

Plus I really did like being one of the few female techs around… Not that it got me anywhere with the boys… In fact it made me lazy appearance wise, it’s easy to be a sloppy tech girl, it’s what people expect… Plus I think they all think I’m a closeted lesbian…

It’s raining outside & my VH1 countdown is over… Guess I should try to get a couple more hours of sleep………………………………

But I’m not sleepy now.

Lame.

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