Warning Signs

19 08 2011

The following entry was written in my old blog that I just recently found:

2002-02-20

Am I responsible? Am I mature enough to make life altering decisions? I have enough trouble deciding what to wear in the mornings… Yes, I am responsible. Yes, I live a comfortable life that I’ve provided for myself. Yes, I’ve stopped running away from life & it’s problems. But I also like to say FUCK IT every once in a while & throw all caution to the wind. I like to run off on random goose chases. You once said you loved how random I am. Was I just being random when I said yes? Or was I being responsible? Was I really thinking? Or was it just my heart talking? Am I being rational or just getting caught up in my emotions? I meant it when I said that you are the most important thing in the world to me… you & your love keep me going… But can I deal with not being your #1 priority? Can I be second to your job or school or your happiness? Can I listen to how she fucked up & not think that it’s your feeble attempt to subtly warn me or threaten me not to make the same mistakes she made? (we all know you lack tact) Can I be who & what you want without loosing myself? I like going to shows on Tuesday nights… I like staying up late… I like Gumby’s at 3am even though it’s not healthy… Damn it, I like smoking…

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I wrote that like a week after I got engaged… WTF did I still get married?

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