In a strange mood

28 10 2011

Really strange… I feel like dancing… And if you know me, you know I don’t dance… ever.

I’ve got all this really crappy pop music stuck in my head & it’s making me feel like going out & getting stupid girl drunk & dancing my ass off…

Strange I tell ya.

Not quite sure where I was going with all this. Things have been pretty good lately, except for allergies, nonstop killer allergies that have basically kept me home/sleeping a lot on my weekends.

Work is work, not bad but some days I just wish I was really rich & could stay home & do nothing for about a year. Sad thing is I know I’d get bored after about a month & want to come back to work!

School is still kicking my ass. The hours more than the work or the content.

It’s getting cold, at least for San Antonio. I really wish it would just stay 72 degrees year round, but the only place I can think of that would be that temp is California & since I’m fairly convinced that the entire state of California will fall off into the ocean the moment I step foot into it, I’m staying right here in San Antonio.

I got a really shitty haircut a couple weekends ago. Like really shitty. This woman gave me ugly betty bangs after I specifically asked her not to. So I’m investing in hair clips & waiting it out…

So the dating thing. I’m still not sure what I want. I’m starting to think that I’m just not cut out for it. Or even just flirting. I stink at it. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been good at it. I get annoyed too easily. Like I know most guys are not trying to offend me by saying they think I’m sexy, but honestly, if you’ve never met me in person or had any type of interaction w/ me, how the hell can you think I’m sexy? Because trust me, I’ve looked at my FB pics & they’re not sexy! So it kind of feels like you’re just saying because it’s what you think I want to hear or it’s what you think will work & trust me when I say that it doesn’t. I’m not your typical girl, I don’t fall for the crap that usually works for you. I’m not flattered, as a matter of fact, I’m kind of offended that you’re insulting my intelligence by trying the same old played out lines on me… I’ve heard them before… if they didn’t work when I was a stupid teenager, you best believe they won’t work now!

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. A friend told me that if it were my dream guy saying it, I would fall for it, but the truth is that if my dream guy said it, he wouldn’t be my dream guy anymore!

And this concept of a dream guy, I’ve been thinking of this also. I don’t think I have one anymore… Keanu, Gavin, Matthew McConaughey, Bob Schneider, etc are all great looking guys, but it’s been a long time since I’ve looked at anyone, especially a celebrity & said, yeah, I’d hit that… When people ask what my type is the best I can come up with is, tall? Smart is also a given, but what else? Good job, likes to have fun? Alright, those are reasonable. Isn’t intimidated by me but knows to respect me? That one’s a little harder to find. Doesn’t play games, doesn’t try to smooth talk me, is straightforward & honest, but not pushy. Must love dogs, my dogs especially. Can deal with my crazy life & schedule. Not needy, but makes an effort to spend time with me. Likes to drink & doesn’t mind that I smoke like a chimney. Likes sports, well football & basketball & boxing, everything else isn’t so cool. Realizes that I hate the Cowboys & knows better than to ask me to cheer for them. Good taste in music. Likes to eat good food & doesn’t mind when I pull out my camera at a really nice restaurant to take pictures of the food on the table. Knows to ask if I want to take a pic of his food before he digs in. He has to be okay w/ the fact that I probably cuss more than he does, know more guys that he does & drive a faster car than he does. Doesn’t ever tell me what to do (or more importantly, what not to do). Respects me, never fights/argues/disagrees with me in public, is never rude to my friends or family. Knows that as much trash as I may talk about my friends & family, he doesn’t get to have an opinion on any of them unless I ask him for it. Not lazy, that one is important. But willing to be lazy with me if I’m just not feeling it. Knows that I get grumpy if I haven’t slept well or haven’t eaten. Understands that I stress out about stupid shit. Gets that I have a strange degree of Texas pride, but only in certain situations. Understands that I’m very anti-politics. Knows that I hate giving the government my money, not because I’m a cold bitch that doesn’t want to help people, but because I don’t think they’re capable of handling it properly. Doesn’t ever call me a republican, because I’m fucking NOT. I need to be able to go to Hooters with him for wings & beer & a football game & know that he knows better than to check out the scantily clad waitresses or ever check out another woman around me. Not that I expect him to never look, but shit, I expect him to be smart enough not to do it around me. Not religious, that one’s important or if he is, he can’t be pushy about it or try to ever convert/convince me that I need to change my thoughts on faith. He can’t ever get morally righteous on me about anything. Has to understand that when I get pissed, I threaten to throw things & if he pushes me, I actually will. He has to understand that while I like to cuddle, I HATE sharing a bed, so cuddle ’til I fall asleep & then get the fuck out of my bed. Understand that I’m a picky eater, I like certain things a certain way, but that I am in no way a boring eater. Knows not to keep teasing me after I’ve asked him to stop. He has to understand that my BFF is currently the 3rd most important man in my life & he can’t have a problem with that. Ad’s been around longer, he’s put up with more of my shit & well, until you’ve proven yourself, he comes first & you better make him like you too. He has to realize that I’m not easily impressed & I won’t act impressed just because I’m expected to. Last but not least, he can’t be a douche in any way shape or form.

And I ask again, why am I single?

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